Silver and Ian.
I didn't expect Ian to be still waiting when I got home. I was grateful that Sean had some work and had to leave. I had obviously invited Sean up, not expecting Ian to still be there.
"Hey," I said as I dropped my keys in the bowl.
"You're home," Ian said. He looked like he had aged in the few hours I left him. He looked tired, his eyes red and his face almost pale.
"What happened to you?"
Ian shrugged. "I got worried. And I wanted to call you, but I didn't want to ruin the date for you. Sean seemed like a nice guy."
I smiled, thinking of Sean. "He is amazing."
"Where did you go?"
I sat down on the couch next to Ian. "Are you sure you even want to know about our date, Ian?"
He thought about it for a minute, then shook his head. "I don't. It will kill me."
I swallowed. "Don't say stuff like that."
Ian backtracked. "Right. My bad, sorry."
I couldn't help but frown. Something had happened to him. The Ian I knew wasn't so subdued. He wasn't so jumpy. The Ian I knew wasn't this... scared.
"Are you okay?" I couldn't help but ask.
"I'm fine."
"Ian," I urged when he didn't say anything.
"Okay. Honestly, I'm scared. I don't want to lose you, Khlo. You know that as well as me. You've been with me throughout the bad times in school. When shit happened with my parents, you would always let me stay over. You're the only one who had ever made me feel wanted."
I took a deep breath. "You don't let anyone in."
Ian's eyes bore into mine. "I cannot. Not when my mind and heart is consumed with you."
"Ian--"
"I know, I've probably messed up all my chances, and honestly, I know that if you hadn't left, we would still be together. Hell, we'd probably be married."
Tears welled in my eyes. I knew that as well as him. "What about Silver?"
"She isn't anything but a friend," Ian insisted.
I couldn't believe it. Even after everything that had happened he still said that he and Silver were just friends. He noticed the near murderous look on my face, and instantly went into defense mode.
"Okay, look. I know you don't believe me, but let me explain everything to you before you jump to conclusions, okay?"
I nodded. "Alright, go ahead."
"I met Silver in college," Ian started and I had to cut him off.
"You went to college with her?"
Ian shot me a look. "Can I please talk?"
I nodded, smiling sheepishly. "Sorry."
"So, as I was saying, we met in college. She actually went out with my roommate a few times. But they broke up, first year of college. I was still friends with her.
"Silver and I didn't have any classes together, because she was doing some course in art. But we had gotten pretty close."
"Close?" I interrupted. "Close like friends or like sex?"
Ian narrowed his eyes at me. "Friends, Khloe. I have never had sex with Silver."
Well, this was news. "You haven't?"
"God, Khloe." Ian was obviously annoyed. "I haven't. I see as a fucking sister!"
"What? What about Caleb? Did you wank into a cup and did she put it into her vagina?"
"Khloe, that's enough," Ian snapped, and I saw the anger on his face. "I did not fucking wank into a cup! And whatever misconceptions you have about Silver is wrong! Can you let me explain?"
I nodded, too afraid to say anything. I had pushed Ian to the edge already. I wanted to know about Silver and Caleb.
"So, Silver and I were pretty close. We started talking because of the fucked-upness of our families. And because in a way we were both lonely. I was still stuck up over you, and Silver didn't really have a family or someone to look after her.
"She got into a serious relationship somewhere around second year of college." There was a faraway look in Ian's eyes. "She was crazy about this guy. But she never let me meet him. I guess that's because she was scared that he would break up with her if he found out that she had a guy best friend."
"And?" I prompted when he didn't speak for some time.
"She got knocked up by him. Caleb is his child. Before she could tell him that she was pregnant, he dropped out. She couldn't contact him afters. He changed his number, he went away, those likes."
"What an asshole."
Ian let out a dry laugh. "Yeah. Silver was adamant about keeping Caleb. She wanted the baby so bad. So, I took it on me to be a father to Caleb."
"Does Caleb know?"
Ian shot me a look. "He's not even 5. He thinks I'm his father."
"Did they move here because of you?"
Ian shook his head. "No. I came here for them. Silver had to move away from Florida. She couldn't stand being there. But I already had a job, and I couldn't just up and leave."
"But doesn't Caleb ask why you guys don't live together?"
Ian looked away. "He does. We lie most of the times. He thinks I work at night. How do you tell a five year old that the man he considers his father, isn't?"
I could see tears in Ian's eyes. I hugged him, catching both of us by surprise. "Don't worry. I'm sure everything's going to turn out okay."
Ian mumbled something into my hair which I couldn't catch. I pulled back and looked at him.
"What?"
"I hated seeing her like that," he confessed. "I felt so helpless. She had become something like a sister to me. And to see her cry and go into depression --"
"It reminded you of yourself," I said quietly.
I didn't need Ian to answer. I knew what he meant. When we had just started high school, Ian started having problems with his family. Not that he spoke to them before that, but once he came to high school, everything intensified.
Ian was brought up by the numerous nannies and maids. In high school, when he got to know that he was a mistake, of his father's mistress, nonetheless, he was broken. He started drinking, and slipping into depression.
That was when I stopped him. Ian stayed over at mine more times than I could count. He spent all holidays with us. I could see why he felt that way with Silver. And I didn't blame him for that.
"I decided that Caleb would have a father in his life. Silver insisted that I let him call me Uncle Ian, but I insisted on Daddy. I don't want him to feel like how I did, all those years ago. What if there isn't a Khloe I his life?"
"You were a strong kid," I whispered.
Ian gave me a small, sad smile. "Was I, Khloe?"
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