Lydia

It was almost easy to forget the media storm in New York. Here in the Bahamas, on Jon’s private beach it was our own little world separate from paparazzi and gossip columns. But we couldn’t hide forever, even if the small three-bedroom bungalow on the ocean was perfect it, still wasn’t home.

We hadn’t been home for two months; pretty much immediately after the news broke the guys chartered a plane and got us the fuck out of Manhattan. Patrick didn’t even need to go back to argue his case to get paid off – Bower & Rosing’ssettled instantly and wrote the cheque just to get him to stay away. Jon was technically on a “sabbatical.” Patrick and I quietly agreed not to broach this topic with the other man, we both knew Jon wasn’t returning to his position as CEO and he needed time to come to terms with that. He also needed alcohol.

I was careful, I watched him closely, I monitored every drink he had and intervened if I felt he had too many – which was becoming more frequent. But he was hurting, we all were, and I knew he needed time to himself to think and rest. Admittedly, this was actually pretty hard to do with the beach house. Sure, there were three bedrooms, but the walls were paper thin and because of its classic nature and lack of renovations the windows were little more than empty holes in the walls that just helped carry noise. This was part of the reason we weren’t having sex.

Two months trapped with my boyfriends on a picturesque island getaway, and neither one of them would touch me. I triedto get them to notice the skimpy bikinis, I brushed up against them constantly, bent over a little too far, went without panties constantly. It was like we were back at square one and I was trying to get my boss to feel me up all over again. Only this time we were supposedly dating and also currently living together. No matter what, neither had any desire to come to my bed or have me in theirs.

Today’s game of please-notice-that-I-am-super-horny-for-you was tanning naked. I pulled the lounger down the beach, rubbed myself down with tanning lotion and draped myself under the sun. I had scouted this spot the day before; you could clearly see that I was naked from the living room and front porch. The two spots where either man was most likely to sit. Allie thought the plan was perfect, though she also suggested masturbating on the beach, but I wasn’t keen on that part.

“Did you finish getting everything moved in today?” I asked, cracking open the bottle beside me.

“I did. Vicki wasn’t much help, she mostly stood around all doe-eyed,” Allie replied with a huff. Her voice came through slightly crackly from the bad reception.

Combined with the crashing waves, I could hardly hear her. “I don’t know why you expected a model to do anything else. She gets paid to stand there and look pretty.”

“True, but since we’re moving in together, I thought she would be at least mildly helpful.”

I snorted and shifted my sunglasses down. The sun was starting to go down now and it was right in my eyes. “Anything new I should know about?”

“No, not really it’s all the same recycled stuff.” She paused. “There’s a lot of speculation that Jon is actually getting divorced now though.”

I frowned and glanced back at the house, but I couldn’t see him. “Weird. I don’t know how true that is though, honestly we haven’t talked much about her.” Christine. I felt bad that she was also being hounded about our relationship, scumbags asking her if she knew about us. “We haven’t talked much at all.”

“Speaking of parental figures,” Allie continued. “Mom wants to know when you’re coming back to New York.”

I rolled my eyes at her dig. “I don’t know yet, there’s no set date really. Just kind of when we think it’s time.”

“Well, you need to figure it out because she wants to have dinner and catch up with you.”

“You mean she wants to grill me to make sure that I haven’t fallen off the wagon.”

“Yes, but she didn’t want me to say it like that.”

I loved Allie’s mom; she had only been my mother for nine months in foster care, but we had kept in touch for years and it almost always made me tear up when she called me her daughter. “I’ll see what I can do about coming back to New York for a few days, maybe she’d let me stay at the house for a few days.”

“You know she would,” Allie answered. “I have to go though because I’ve ignored two of her calls and she’s ringing through again.”

“Alright, tell her I said ‘hi’.”

“Will do, love you.”

“Love you too.”

My phone beeped at the disconnect. I wiped the single rogue tear on my cheek and took a deep breath. It felt good to know that people loved me and wanted me to come for dinner, it felt normal and that was in pretty short supply in the Bahamas currently.

“We’re you talking to Allie while naked?”

I craned my next to see Patrick standing beside me. His dark hair was a wild mess of waves around his chin, stubble had grown out into an unruly beard, and he had prominent circles under his eyes. My heart ached for him, he was struggling, and I didn’t know how to help.

“It’s not like she’s sitting here next to me,” I offered with a shrug.

He cocked an eyebrow. “It’s a little weird.”

Even as he said it I caught the way his cheek jumped and he cleared his throat, trying to hide his smile. I stretched out more, trying to pose without making it too obvious. “Do you think I need to get dressed?” I asked with a pout.

“You couldn’t be less subtle if you tried, sweetheart,” he said dryly.

“I’ve been ignored for weeks on end, excuse me for trying to milk what attention I can from my supposed boyfriend.”

Patrick looked hurt and I almost felt bad for saying it, but at the same time he couldn’t have expected a different reaction. “Do you want to come swimming with me?” he asked, changing the subject.

“It’s getting dark, that might not be the best choice,” I cautioned. “Especially if you’ve been drinking with Jon again.”

He shrugged and undid his loose linen button-up. “We won’t go far, I just thought it might be nice to do something together.” He paused and held out his hand to me in invitation. “I know I haven’t been the most attentive, but I’m trying.”

I stared at his hand for a moment, the band on his signet ring glinted in the sun light like a beacon calling me home. He was trying, and I wasn’t about to pass that up. We walked down to the water together, he stripped as we went getting down to his boxers as I waded in. I didn’t look behind me, I knew he would follow.

The water was cool and choppy tonight, summer was almost over and it was starting to show. The sky was even less red and more purple tonight, signifying the cooling weather. I skimmed my hands over the waves as I waded out further until my breasts were mostly covered and my hair swirled around my shoulders. The breeze raised goosebumps on my skin, I let my eyes drift shut as I shivered.

“Cold?” Patrick asked, sliding his hands over my shoulders and down my arms.

“A little,” I replied while leaning back into him. A smile spread across my face and I glanced up at him. “I’m cold at night too.”

“I know, I’m sorry.” He did actually sound sorry too. “I love you though, you know that don’t you?”

“I don’t think I’d be here otherwise.”

Patrick sighed and walked around in front of me. “Dia, we wouldn’t have left you to deal with that. I know things haven’t been great here, but Jon and I going through a lot.”

“And I’m not?” I demanded. “The worst thing I’ve seen written about you is that you focus too much on your hair, I’ve been called every name they can think of. For fuck’s sake, last week someone said I probably gave you both chlamydia!”

Patrick jerked me forward roughly, his lips hard on mine and forcing my mouth open. I tugged at his hair greedily, wanting to pull him closer even as he held me to him. His hands were splayed wide and his fingers dug into the flesh on my hips, it was almost painful and it made me moan shamelessly. I couldn’t remember the last time he kissed me like this, with this desperate need that reminded me of how he couldn’t keep his hands off me a few months ago.

The thought made my throat constrict and my eyes water. Patrick, I wish you could see how much I need you. The tears that seeped down my cheeks were hot and angry, I had never felt so alone despite the circumstances.

“I think I would know by now if you gave me chlamydia,” Patrick said as he pulled away, wiping my tears away with a swipe of his thumb. “I’m sorry, baby, please don’t cry.”

I tried to laugh, it was breathless and strained and obviously fake. Instead, I laid my head on his shoulder and tightened my embrace. “I miss you so much and I miss this being one big game. I hate that we can’t go back to how it was.”

“Me too,” he murmured, stroking a wet hand through my hair. “But can I tell you something else?”

I pulled back to give him a quizzical look, he just smiled and kissed my cheek before continuing, “I like where we are; I like that we can sit on the couch in silence, or make dinner together, and I love that we’re living together. It would be less complicated to go back, but I’m happy here with you.” He paused and glanced over my shoulder to the house. “And Jon, when he isn’t acting like a dick.”

When I laughed this time, it was genuine. “It takes one to know one.”

“Ah, and I do love your mouthy attitude,” he teased.

I rolled my eyes but giggled as he started to kiss his way across my jaw and down my throat. The waves rocked us back and forth, and it was easy to lose myself to the myriad of sensations. It wasn’t until I felt Patrick’s hand drift down further to grope and massage my ass that everything sort of snapped back into focus. I was nervous, and I had no reason to be, but suddenly being naked on the beach for him to gawk at felt a lot different than being pressed up against him.

Would it be different? Would I be different? Would he be different? Worse were the unwelcome thoughts that maybe he didn’t really want me, that he was just trying to make me happy by doing this. I must have let my trepidation show because Patrick pulled back while cupping my face, watching me anxiously with wide amber eyes.

“Kitten?” he asked softly. “Are you alright? You look upset…”

I nodded and smiled shakily. “I just missed this; you know?”

His face lit up and without pause he bent down to hoist me up, my legs wrapped around his waist and hands sunk into his damp hair. I could feel him against me, his cock getting harder with each passing second and every grind of my hips on his.

“I missed this too.” His lips ghosted across my skin, moving lower with every passing breath until he reached my breasts. “Your collection of sheer negligees has been taunting me since we got here.”

I giggled and tipped my head back while I held him to my nipple, his tongue flicked over it, teasing me until my toes were curling. “I know that sex in the ocean sounds hot, but I’m not quite sure how the physics of this works.”

Patrick laughed and adjusted his grip so that I sank lower into the water but my legs stayed locked around him. “Not to brag, but I’ve done this a few times – it works just fine.”

I liked his teasing, I really liked his foreplay too, but I didn’t want to play around – I wanted him to fuck me. It took some maneuvering until I could feel the head of his cock gliding along my slit, nudging my clitoris and drawing a long moan out of me. “Fuck me,” I pleaded desperately. “Stop making me wait.”

One hand left my hip, I slipped a bit further down and the head of his cock pressed into my pussy, I shivered at the sensation and then gasped unintentionally as he jerked my head back by my hair. “You’ll wait if I want you too,” he said darkly, his mouth right under my ear as he spoke.

Even as he said it he thrust up, stretching and filling me completely. My chest heaved with my laboured breathing, it felt like I was dreaming – like if I made one wrong move the entire thing would disappear. I grabbed frantically at his shoulders, pulling myself back upright so I could capture his mouth with mine. I fisted my hands in his hair and arched my back, pressing my tits to his chest as he started really fucking me.

I moaned loudly and shamelessly as I fucked him back. The water lapping hungrily at us, the now almost black sky speckled with twinkling stars, even the roar of the waves around us didn’t matter anymore. It was just me and Patrick.

My arms constricted around his neck as I began to grind on him; my nipples rubbing against chest hair and sending little sparks straight to my clit. We kissed and his tongue explored my mouth with an eagerness that I hadn’t felt since long before I left the office. It made my heart soar to feel him this way; to feel him hold me just a little too tightly, to fuck me more roughly than he ever had – to feel him want me.

“I love you,” I gasped out between little ‘oh’ sounds and my nails raking up his back. “Ohmigod I love you.”

Patrick laughed moved down to kiss my throat, his motions never stopping as he nipped and sucked at the most sensitive spots. “Fuck me back, kitten, I want to feel you come.”

I whimpered and threw my head back, pulling him down to bite and suck on my tits again. I could feel myself coming apart at the seams, I was so close to my climax that I couldn’t do anything but frantically try and do what he told me to. His cock seemed bigger than before, and as it raked repeatedly against my g-spot I knew I wasn’t going to last long.

“Patrick,” I whispered breathlessly. “Patrick, I’m so—I’m going to—” I couldn’t finish my sentence, I couldn’t speak at all anymore.

“Come for me, baby,” he urged as he raked his teeth along my jaw. “I want to feel you.”

As if I had a choice at that point. The mounting pressure snapped hard and sharp inside me, making my toes curl, my back arch, and my pussy tighten around him. I cried out loudly, screaming my finish and not caring who could overhear. Patrick wasn’t far behind me, his panting increased and his thrusts became slower, deeper, and more determined. His fingers dug into my ass cheeks while he guided me up and down his cock over and over, water splashing up around us. His kiss tasted like salt when his mouth found mine again in a frenzied need that was threatening to consume us both.

Suddenly, he shuddered against me and moaned loudly while holding me in place – his cock buried in my pussy and kissing the corner of my mouth as I scratched my nails through his beard. Our return to reality was slow and reluctant; I rested against his shoulder and refused to let go for several minutes, just clinging to him and wishing that he was a wind-up toy that I could use as many times as I wanted.

“Is it insensitive if I ask Jon if he’s up for a round now?” I asked after a few minutes. Patrick snorted and let me go, I yelped and flailed as I sank under the water for a brief second. “You jerk!”

“You’re the one bullying me,” he retorted. “You’re not allowed to be mean to your boyfriend when he’s paying for your vacation.”

I rolled my eyes at him and swept my now sopping hair back as he guided us back to the beach. “No one said you couldn’t join us,” I replied pointedly.

I heard him chuckle faintly as we reached the shore. Just as I turned to him, he caught me around the waist and pulled me in for a softer more chaste kiss. “You go on inside, I’m going to take a walk.”

What? I frowned and caught his hands as he went to pull away. “Don’t go, I was just kidding, I didn’t mean to actually upset you.” Did I actually hurt his pride? I really need to work on my lack of filter.

“Don’t worry, sweetheart, I’m just going for a walk it’s nothing about your smart mouth.” He paused and smirked at my glare. “No, honestly, I just want to take a short walk. I’ll be back shortly.”

“Are we going to sleep together tonight at least?” I asked, starting to panic.

“Of course,” he answered, seeming a bit put off that I would even ask. “I wasn’t just going to pretend you weren’t here.”

You’ve been doing just that for like, the entire eight weeks that we’ve been here. I bit my tongue on that that comment and just kissed his cheek before we parted. Part of me was hurt by him just walking away, but I wanted to give him the space I knew he still needed.

I stumbled my way back to the house, the sand tripped me up and my knees were a little shaky, but I made it back in one piece without eating shit face first in the sand. The living room lights were on when I got in and I realized as I stood in the entry way that I was buck ass naked, while Jon sat across from me on the orange loveseat.

His eyebrows shot up almost to his hair line and he set his iPad down while he took the sight of me standing there awkwardly in.

“I see you’ve moved on from lingerie to just full frontal,” he teased. “And from what I heard I’m guessing you got what you wanted. Or you bought a vibrator.”

My face burned and I snatched the blanket off the back of the sofa to wrap around myself. “Well, the next step was to masturbate on the coffee table so…”

I shrugged and went to the kitchen while Jon just shook his head and laughed. I was grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge when I caught sight of the recycling bin – it was filled with beer cans. Bending down I pushed the cans around and found several empty liquor bottles. These couldn’t have been there earlier, I would have noticed.

In my mind I went over every motion again, every touch, every word he said… He hadn’t seemed drunk. But then again, he never seemed drunk. He tasted like salt, but we had sex in the ocean so I couldn’t exactly expect anything different.

“Jon?” I called tentatively.

“What’s wrong?”

I grabbed the box, carried it to the living room and dropped it noisily on the table in front of him. “Are these all his?” My voice wavered and I struggled not to cry. “You told me you were watching him—” I broke off to sniffle and wipe my eyes. I didn’t want Patrick to get hurt with this new destructive habit, but I also felt like I was being gutted with the idea that he had to be drunk to want me again.

“No, dove, it’s alright,” Jon soothed as he jumped to his feet looking panic stricken. “I was just cleaning these up, they aren’t all from today and they aren’t all his either.” His voice was soft and gentle, just like his embrace.

“You’re sure?” My eyes were watery and voice hoarse. I hated that I didn’t fully believe him, I hated that I didn’t think either of them were okay and that they were hiding things from me.

“I’m certain,” he promised. “Here, you look tired let’s get you to bed.” Jon smiled and wrapped his arm around my waist, guiding me to my bedroom.

I leaned into him for reassurance but I had seen how he couldn’t meet my eyes. “Will you lay down with me until he gets back?” I half asked half mumbled.

“Anything you want, dove. That’s what I’m here for.”