Awakening Following Fate - Chapter #8 - Free To Read

I rarely get any time alone, and the front entryway to the house is usually my go-to for some head space, as no one but the patrols ventures out here normally. The village is out back, sheltered in the homestead shadow, where all life and soul thrive. I focus my full blank attention on her sharp and pointed but annoyingly pretty face, hoping for intimidation and a huge flashing ‘back off’ vibe. I am in no mood for her, and the bubbling green-eyed me is in there trying to slither up and slap her down. Her golden hair shields half her delicate face as she moves her hands to cross over her ample bust on that slender figure, and, honestly, I'm not too fond of the fact she is attractive as a femme. At least I can see what Colton dated her for.

“Look…. I know you and I have had our ups and downs. I just wanted to say that I won’t cause any problems. I know how things are. You’re mates. It’s done. I’m just another femme from the pack now, and I respect your position as Luna. I’m sorry for everything before. I want a calmer life and no drama, and I don’t intend to create any.” Carmen lowers her eyes and nods to show her submission, her posture loosening as though trying to act like she isn’t as stiff and stressed as I can feel, and I frown at her warily. My gut tightens in knots because this is the last wolf on the planet I would ever willingly shake hands with. Well, besides Juan!

“Are you being nice because you’re afraid of what I’ll do if you disrespect me or because you have realized what a bitch you were to me?” Direct and blunt to match my mood. No attempt at being hospitable when really, she doesn’t deserve it at all. I know I don’t have to be civil to her if I don’t want to be. No rules are saying a Luna has to love all. She’s staying with my pack, but it doesn’t mean I have to like her, and it’s not like anyone will challenge me on my coldness. She deserves way more than a moody Alora!

“A little bit of both, I guess. I’m not suggesting we become best friends. I’m just saying…. I’m thankful you let me in and didn’t turn us away, and I don’t intend to give you a reason to be sent back to the mountain. The past is the past, I’m not proud, but you have to understand how heartbroken I was. I’ve had time to let it go.” She turns her face back to me with no hint of deviousness in those pale almond-shaped eyes. Her cheeks are naturally rosy as though she’s blushing or seething inwardly, yet there’s no hint of malice or bad feeling coming from her. I think she’s being honest.

I don’t want to linger on any of the before. I turn my face away and shrug, indicating I don’t want to dwell on it or talk it out with her. It was another time that feels like a lifetime ago, and I don’t want to revisit old hurts where Colton is concerned. We’re happy now. We’re together. That’s all that matters. She needs to stay on her own side of the line and leave us on ours.

“So, what motivated it? Weren’t you a sworn stayer in Juan’s army?” I ask bitchily, not sure I like Carmen’s attempts at playing nice when I don’t trust her. Not softening in the slightest, even with apologies and oaths to play nice.

“I was always going to follow Colton; I was there that day and saw him defeat his dad. I tried to leave with the pack, but my mom wouldn’t leave with me, and by the time I tried to convince her, my dad showed up and ended it. My mom isn’t strong. She lives in his shadow. She’s naïve and maybe a little too innocent. I couldn’t leave her with him to be ground down and trampled over. You don’t know how he is.” Her clear, almost husky voice cracks a little, and I blink her way seeing a tiny chink in the confident armor she wears like a shroud.

I waiver a little in my coolness when I see that soft warmth in her eyes when talking about her mom, and yet there’s something raw and almost painful when she says the word, Dad. Although the most surprising part is how hard it is to believe someone like Carmen came from someone sweet and feeble. She’s a born bitch. I can’t imagine she came from someone weak.

“And now?” I fix her with a direct stare. Not moving an inch in my stubbornness or my haughty tone. Not wanting to dig apart or figure out the puzzles in her emotions. I want her to walk off and leave me to my trees.

“She saw the truth…. One of the pack passed on the memories of your wolves; I guess we had an infiltrator. Then my mom confronted my dad and demanded to see the past in his mind's eye, he refused, but my mom has a gift… she can extract memories of the sleeping and dead without their consent, and I never thought she would be brave enough to do it.” She looks down at the ground in an instant wave of emotion, her eyes brimming with sudden tears, and she swallows hard. “We saw what they did to your family, to your pack…. The actions of one, spreading its poison to the many in the people we trusted. My mom couldn’t take it. She broke, and I knew if we stayed, my dad would send her someplace to ensure she didn’t do anything stupid… like end her own life.” The tear rolls down Carmen’s cheek, her body bristling as she feels it and she stubbornly straightens up and wipes it away harshly. In that second, she looks like a lost child, trying to act tough in the face of adversity and despite everything. I am moved.

The curse of the Luna in having compassion for her people and my own gift of feeling her emotions out. Her pain bruises my heart and winds through my veins like a prickly cold icicle, aching and hurting me deeply. Reminiscent of grieving my mom, my family, and I reach out instinctively and touch her shoulder. Cursing myself inwardly for this insane compassion grows in me the longer I lead our people. I swear at myself mentally for showing her softness.

“She’s lucky she has you. To care for her and bring her here. You did the right thing.” I soothe, moving into a maternal mode of appeasing and gentle with my tone, then bite my tongue for being a weak-assed bitch. I disappoint myself sometimes. Who knew Luna's gifts would be my nemesis when it came to this girl?

“I’m afraid. She’s mentally unstable. She’s always been fragile, and my dad’s part in it all, the betrayal, the moral destruction; she’s not okay. Her Alpha turned out to be a monster she always followed loyally, her world came crashing down, and the safety of our people became lowest on the pecking order. She cries all the time. It’s like her mate is dead, but she got to live. Colton’s leaving didn’t just cause a hole in the pack; it changed everything, and those left behind are prisoners of misery.” It’s a gush of words, and she looks shocked at herself for opening up to me. Swallowing back with a confused and almost dazed expression, I nod in understanding.

I know a Luna has this power over their people, and I never really understood it when Sierra was ours. They are the literal embodiment of a pack mother, and any who needs her feels compelled to confide in her. Looking back, I see that Sierra had this too, that a Luna has a way of lowering walls, making you trust and respect her by merely being close to you.

I motion for her to walk with me along the tree line as sentinels appear to patrol the grounds, and I feel this conversation is not done with. I can’t let this end this way despite wishing she would disappear. I want privacy from prying eyes because I know the second a guard sees us together, Colton will be out here like a shot thinking the worst.

Carmen obediently follows me as I turn and gesture to the shaded overhang of the narrow path which leads far along the side and behind the house. This is just inside the rune border here and the closest to the invisible wall as you can get.

“We can take her to the medbay if you truly feel her mental state is problematic. We can monitor and help. We have human medicines, an understanding of mental health, and a good staff who wouldn’t leave her alone. Maybe she needs time, safety, and the peaceful life we are building here. The village has some community groups and maybe being back among old friends…..” I try to reason as I decipher the pits of angst and anxiety swirling around Carmen now we are shoulder to shoulder and moving at a slow stroll under the outstretched branches. Her mom’s state seems to be where all her focus is, not on anything from before. It makes me relax knowing she has no obvious ulterior motives. Her whole aura and ambiance tell me her heart and mind are where her mom is.

“I don’t know if it will help or if she’ll agree. My mom has always depended on security and the balance of her life. No rocking the boat, no sudden changes. My dad has never known how to handle her, so he avoids her the best he can. It’s always been me and her…… I’m her rock.” Carmen’s distress grows, and tears roll down her face, making her angrily wipe them harder as though she’s embarrassed by her weakness and the genuine fear that she doesn’t know how to help her.

I have a sea of contradictory emotions and pangs running through me, and I try to separate Carmen from the past and the girl beside me in the here and now. I’m not ready to rest my old feelings and let go of hurt, anger, and jealousy. I don’t know how I would handle seeing her approach Colton like this or if I could swallow it down, but I know one thing for certain: I want to help right now. This cursed need in me to ensure my pack, every last one of them, is cared for. Even her.

“Do you want me to get Sierra to come to see her in your rooms? Maybe she could help. She can heal certain things and instill calm with a touch. Maybe seeing her…..” it’s an absent-minded suggestion as my brain strays onto things I don’t want to think about, and I flinch at her sudden exuberant response.

“Oh my god! Sierra! Yes!!! Yes, yes, yes…. she was one of her closest friends. She mourned her for so many years, and I don’t think she believes the rumors are true, that she’s really here. Please, I’ll do anything if she can see her or help…. I love my mom. She’s all I have now.” She croaks the last sentence, her eyes misty, turning to me energetically, and grips my hand. It’s impulsive and without thought, and she seems oblivious to my sudden stiff response as she turns to me, full of new life and energy. The aura of pleading, desperate need, so strong it catches me off guard, and for a second, I’m ashamed of my hatred for this girl.